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Why Do People Lie To Us?

text image with truth written and lies seen through a lens

Lying is most often used maliciously to manipulate you. People with little interpersonal skills or non-existing, have no other means to get what they want from you. Others, even though they could be truthful and honest, prefer to lie to you because it seems easier to get what they want from you.

‘A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.’

‘For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth.’

‘A single lie destroys a whole reputation of integrity.’

I grew up with the above three quotes. My dad was an avid supporter of honesty. I would get a cedi for each avoided lie in a day. I would tell him what the situation was and how I avoided it by not lying and my parents would praise me and give me my hard earned money. To date we still have this tradition, I tell my dad how I didn’t lie where I could. I just don’t get the money any longer, because he says the reward of honesty is honesty itself.

Have you ever thought why people lie?

1. Out of fear
People are afraid of the consequences of their actions, lack of action, mistakes, and failures. The most severe punishment for their mistakes, the more people will lie out of fear. Strive to inspire respect, not fear. Allow people to make mistakes because no one is perfect.

2. Pride
People don’t want you to know they are not as magnificent as they would like you to perceive. Or, they will garnish themselves with attributes to improve their self-image.

3. Some people believe that you cannot handle the truth
It is so; sometimes we are not prepared to hear the truth. Therefore, people lie to us; and sometimes we prefer to listen to a lie rather than being forced to deal with the reality. Sometimes, a spouse that suspects being cheated on prefer not to hear it because, then, he has to take action, to do something about it; and if that something is divorce, they hang on and pretend nothing is happening.
However, most times, you can handle the truth. Have faith in yourself.

4. Lack of self-respect
Respect starts with appreciating oneself. People that don’t know how to respect themselves will not know how to respect you either. People that respect themselves don’t smudge dirt on their image by lying. Right?

5. Seeking attention
One of the most desired feelings in life is to feel important. Receiving attention makes you feel important. Does it not? Folks believing to be insignificant and lacking qualities that could make them relevant to others, seek attention by lying, exaggerating of fabricating stories about themselves or their life.
“I know Donald Trump. Yes! I’m that important…” the things is- President Trump does not know anything about this person’s existence.

6. Wanting to manipulate you
Lying is most often used maliciously to manipulate you. People with little interpersonal skills or non-existing, have no other means to get what they want from you. Others, even though they could be truthful and honest, prefer to lie to you because it seems easier to get what they want from you.
Plus, they don’t care at all about how you feel your interest or to get a win-win outcome.
Manipulators are the masters of deception. They lie; they cheat and care NOT about the consequences or repercussions on others. THEY DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU. Rest assured. They are not too many. Therefore, even though they are astute and skilled to deceive others, you can spot them. Being so rare, they stand out and even if they manage to fool you once, next time you know to be vigilant and wont trust them for sure.

7. Poor problem-solving skills
I guess you’ve already noticed the recurring theme; when people don’t know what else to do about the situation they are in, they lie. It is the simplest way they know how to deal with their problems, they feel concerned, and they feel stuck in an impossible situation, so they lie. They lie to you or themselves about it.

8. Inability to face the unexpected
The unexpected is expected to happen. Is it not? No matter how prepared are you for a situation, some things will take you by surprise. The unexpected can make people feel embarrassed, ashamed, and cornered and the fastest way out could be lying.

9. The desire to make you feel better
Sometimes, the truth seems not to matter too much. For example: “Does this dress look good on me?” “Yes, darling, marvelous!” If she has only that one dress, yes the dress looks great on her; no point to be truth to be truthful only to make her feel bad, right? “I was the best man on the field today, wasn’t I?” “Yes, darling, you were marvelous.

Now that you know the reasons behind a lying and cheating person, how can you remedy the situation? Have you ever thought about it?

1. Most times the best thing to do is nothing. Make a note in your mind about those people and pay attention to their attention to their actions and statements in the future.

2. Point out, in private, that you know they lied and be assertive with people that you can trust. Avoid people that don’t respect themselves and you enough to take responsibility for their actions and behaviors.

Remember that it is not your job to cure people from bad behavior and that you can’t make people change if they don’t want to change. If people are lying to you, see it as their loss, not yours. They are those losing trust, respect, and the chance to solve a problem, the opportunity to make a friend and to make themselves liked.
When people lie to you, don’t take it personally. Most lies are not intended to hurt you; people are not doing it to you! They are doing to themselves.
As it is said constantly, we are all professional liars; and with good reasons; we can’t just blurt out whatever comes to mind, that would be hurtful for those around.
Even the most honest and goodhearted person feels the need to lie from time to time- “No dear, you have some seasonal allergies, who told you it is cancer? – Especially when they want to help and see that the truth doesn’t solve anything.
The real issue in my opinion is how important the liar person is to you to accept him despite his lies?
Sometimes with patience you can cure a liar into an honest person. Have faith!

2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Carphui

    July 4, 2018 at 4:58 pm

    This piece was good.

    • Enoch Weguri Kabange

      July 20, 2018 at 9:47 pm

      Thanks man

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