I once sat and watched a man who after seemingly waiting for someone finally decided to leave. He just got “disappointed” by a client. He stormed out “disappointed”. Take a moment and imagine yourself in such a situation. The question I want to ask you is, do you think he was disappointed or not?

Events are a normal daily occurrence

You know such happenings occur daily in our lives. Come to think of it, what is a disappointment? According to the Merriam Webster dictionary the verb Disappoint is “to make (someone) unhappy by not being as good as expected or by not doing something that was hoped for or expected”. I guess this is true.  You have been made to understand so. If you are aiming to be happy and free your mind of various worries associated with, you need a change of mind. The event is not the problem; the problem is what your mind tells you is the problem. And the mind has many ways of doing this.

Change your mind about what is actually a problem and which is worth musing over

There are so many ways our societies have implanted into our minds things which seem to be the truth of the matter but are really the opposite. Getting yourself to think of someone telling you that perhaps they cannot make it to an event is just an event and should be considered as such, nothing more nothing less! From the definition of disappointing above, the main idea is not meeting someone’s expectations whereby they become unhappy after. A quick addition could be after his expectations weren’t met what did he think to himself? Maybe “This client takes me for granted” or “He doesn’t have time for me, he sees me as trash”. Now tell me who disappointed who? Is it your mind just playing with you or this unfortunate event really deserves the attention you have given it. The addition your mind makes to the situation will determine your reaction which will either make it a disappointment or not. The boil-down fact is that these events happen day in day out but our minds dictate to us how we react to these which either makes them disappointments or not.

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Social programming of the mind

We have been programmed by society to react negatively to such events. This is a much unfortunate occurrence which has detrimental consequences; inferiority complex, pessimism, depression among others. Just consider the case of our friend whom I watched get “disappointed” what if he conceived the thought that his client had an emergency and couldn’t come to see him, something far more important instead or a better reason for his absence. Would that have changed the event? The mind dictates so many things to us from the thoughts and actions of others. The earlier we become conscious of this the better. Controlling our thoughts would be the only way out of a world full of conformists.

The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude towards the problem

Another anecdote here will do us good. I went shopping with my sister while I was still in senior high. On our way to a particular shop to purchase a pair of sneakers, something unfortunate which for no good reason I can’t really remember happening. What came out of my mouth immediately was “Wow”. Wow? With a chill of surprise, she asked me. But to me, It wasn’t a bother that much. I had brushed it off before it could get into my mind as one big problem which would give me a headache to solve. I was saved from all this by a simple “wow”. A simple formula to brush off situations you can’t do much about but seem to be problems. They are nothing but mirages created by your mind and until you learn to control the stream of thoughts you accept you will continue to think you are disappointed. Just change your mind about what is really a problem and what is a mind trick.

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Let the petty things go, if it won’t matter in the next year forget about it

I know this will raise a whole lot of criticism but he boils down point is your thoughts determine how you will eventually react to any event which happens in your life. We can’t continue to live our lives by reacting to anything and everything; we will eventually become controlled by these external events which we hardly have any control of. By the time we have become so reactive that all our thoughts, actions and feelings are determined by external events, we will no longer have controlled by these external affairs of our lives that we become bitter since we fell useless and only react to events. In such a case, there would be no room for one to act on our own accord but to act based on the actions of others. I bet you don’t want to become a Facebook messenger bot reacting and wasting a whole lot of time and energy on whether a friend who promised to visit was able to make it or not.

Food for thought

Our minds are powerful tools and we can’t allow them to be in the hands of others but we should learn to harness the great and extreme power of our minds to help achieve our dreams.
Napoleon Hill in his book “Think and grow rich” has proven that indeed a whole lot of successful people have thought their way to success since almost all billionaires are first generation billionaires which means they started to make their money in their lifetime and roughly got started at rugs and eventually got to riches, success and a life influence.

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